Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Incoherent ramblings from a woman who is NOT Wonder Woman.

I met with a couple today who recently affiliated with our organization.  They have been called to work in Cambodia with Rapha House, an amazing organization that works to fight child trafficking and sexual exploitation.  It, to me, is mind-blowingly amazing work.  There is a certain grandeur in my mind associated with this kind of work.

But I have a strong feeling, it won't feel that way when they are in it.

My friends who have fostered for years - that's superhero work.  Working with these children coming from desperate situations - how above my boring day to day.  They are superheroes.

And I think there have been times in the past that it's flitted through my mind, "Wow, I'm really going to be doing something amazing here.  Look at me, really sacrificing.  Doing something huge and great for these children, and heck, for society as a whole."

As it comes closer though, I'm drawn back to reality.  Right now, I'm realizing that I only have about 4 months.  4 months to prepare, to move houses, to organize and figure out my life (what?  Is that even possible?  No).

I don't think that when you are in the midst of something, you can ever really grasp it.  I don't think Mother Theresa looked up from the slums and thought, "Wow, I'm really changing lives here.  Look at this amazing thing that God is doing through me."

I have no idea what my life will look like later this year.  I may be changing diapers, drying tears, or trying to calm a child in an angry rage they don't even fully understand.  I hope that I will be doing good.  I hope that I will be helping them grow and have a positive impact on their life, even if they are only with me for a day.  But I don't think I'll see greatness.  I think I'll just see life.  Maybe someday I'll be given glimpses of how Christ was at work the whole time and how I was able to be a part of it.

What am I trying to say?  I have no delusions of grandeur.  I see people do great and amazing things all over the world and yet, I don't think a single one of them can see it from the midst of it all.  For our future workers in Cambodia, I don't think they will see what I see - "wow, look at them being a part of changing these young girls' entire future.  Look at them help shape a country for the better."  No, they won't see that, because they will be in the midst of it, working with broken girls, helping reshape their lives.  Helping them heal from deep, painful hurts.  And all you can do at that point is try to help mend a broken heart, one piece at a time.

That's what I'm going to try with all my heart to do.  Help mend broken hearts of children and their families, however I can, on piece at a time.

1 comment:

  1. I love this post... and I completely get you. People say constantly things about what I'm doing and how "amazing" I am (even writing those words seems so bizarre and embarassing frankly)... and I just think- this is just my life- it's filled with being locked out of my fridge, cleaning up messes, having 3 children get out of the house at 5 in the morning, wiping noses, changing diapers, sweeping and mopping, giving hugs, feeding and feeding and feeding, placing bandaids, redirecting, reading books and tucking into bed... it's pretty... ordinary. I love Mother Theresa... LOVE... our beliefs may be a bit different religon-wise, but the woman was simply amazing and GOT it, got what life is truly about. And I don't think that SHE saw herself as doing amazing things- she saw herself doing ordinary things... which is where my favorite quote of hers rings in my ears "Do ordinary things with extraordinary love"... Wiping a nose is ordinary; Wiping it with love becomes something all together different. Changing a diaper is ordinary; Changing it while showing love becomes extraordinary... and that IS pretty amazing! :)